we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
Randomize
