Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
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