Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
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