how hairy? two words: wookie tits
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
Randomize
