EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
