Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Randomize
