Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
kristin has been a bad kristin
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Randomize
