so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
