I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
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