It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Randomize