took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize