The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
