He is such a slut. More and more my type.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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