Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
