I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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