tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Randomize
