Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
Pants are for mortals
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize
