i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
