Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Randomize