dude i'm inner monologue high
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
Randomize
