he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Randomize
