I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Randomize
