I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
