the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
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He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
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You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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