So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
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