So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
operation harelip BJ is a go
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
sex in a hospital.. check
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Randomize
