forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
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