the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
