I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
where am i from again
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
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