Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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