I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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