My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Randomize
