I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
where are my eyebrows?
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
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