I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Randomize
