Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Randomize
