did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize