He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
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