We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize
