So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Randomize
