tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
Randomize
