Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Randomize
