I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
He shit in the fireplace
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize