...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
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