i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Randomize
