forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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