I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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