i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Randomize
