Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
he just fucked me for my cheese..
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
