I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
