You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
