you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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