Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
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WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
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I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
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