What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
Randomize
