Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
