Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Randomize
