I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
Holy sore nipples Batman
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
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