Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
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