Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Randomize
