I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
Did you just see the Batmobile???
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
Randomize
