I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
