Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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