Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
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