my soul wont recognize me after tonight
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
