I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
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best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
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My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
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