you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
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