saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
