sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
Drunk is a universal language darling
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
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